just nonsence
i don’t want to talk today. i don’t want to breathe or blink. i don’t want to clean or do laundry. i don’t want to wash faces or make dinners. i don’t want to plan or worry. i don’t want to remember the past or think of the future. i want to lye in bed all day. the covers pulled to my ears. warm and snug and blessedly silent. that’s all i want. don’t ask what’s wrong. you know me. it’s never anything. it’s just shira being shira again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
yellow red blue blending into white
it’s binding and it’s mine
strands of nothing creating time
giving me purpose
keep me busy
just one moment longer
i can’t stomach the silence
i can’t stand the noise
it’s not a knowing
and it’s not a need to become
it simply is the life of my mind
accept it. please
it’s either this or darkness
the many tragedies of life to consume me
smoke,liquor,sex,drugs….
i wish you could see how it’s all so meaningless
keep me busy
place my wishes in a bottle and stop them up
send them soaring and turn me away
i don’t want to know where they land
i don’t want to know if they’re landing at all
when it breaks it will leak air any way
a great outpouring of oxygen
so hard to contain my thoughts
flying, flying things
these words are all just nonsence
cold and quiet and needing distraction
it’s all right to stop
stop
~*~*~*~*~*~
started the non smoking late. 2 days cigarette free. not doing bad. or not too bad i think.
