i have a friend at work. he’s a little older than me and gay. mostly we ask each other stupid questions like “Would you rather have the super powers to read peoples mind or be invisible?” . we get very bored obviously,lol. well he asked me to write a poem that expressed who he was. or the person i knew him to be. what i thought of him or what i thought others thought of him. this is what I wrote.
hey ,who are you?
you with out a face or a name?
you drifting through the days on “hey man” and far off looks.
you empty
who are you waiting on?
you ask me to know you
but i don’t know you anymore than the plastic bag
hanging on my kitchen door
your hard and callous and projecting light
your slow motion movements and new phrases
what do i think of you?
you’re the first boy i ever crushed on, 5 years old, blond hair and blue eyes
you’re the bus driver hollering to keep it down and teetering slowly
across the train tracks
you’re the ambulance driver smiling at me sadly
you’re the dying man in the bed i punch and scream at in my dreams
“WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!!”
you’re the first boy i ever loved, you’re the first boy who broke my heart
you’re the man on the corner begging for some loose change
you’re the hitch hiker we fly by, never a thought
you’re the oppressor and the freedom maker
the middle class working man and complainer of small wages
you’re the single man and the married man and the “dude i’m soooo wasted” man
you’re the typical and the abnormal to me
you’re the new and refreshing and maddeningly predictable
you’re the murky midnight news
you’re the canvas of my crabby monday confessions
you’re the “mom I’m GAY” …..”you’re dead to me!” man
you’re the uplifter, the survivor
you’re smooth contradictions to me
and i love you for it
~* And this is the poem he wrote for me……
Hello?
how are you doing… No really how are you doing…
Not that you, that you put on a front for everybody else but the real you..
You know the one that no one sees when your looking in the mirror naked you…
Or the real you that will not lie to your momma you cause no matter how old you get you still fear her ….you.
Or even the I’m in the presence of God and I know he sees who I really am you…
I know you, if no one else knows, you I do…All the quite nights where you cried yourself to sleep..
Or the times when you started cutting on your self just to feel something, anything to let you know you were still here…
I know the heart that broke because he wasn’t man enough to take care of the baby you both made…
I know the hurt you felt when Mom and Dad were so disappointed, and you’ve never made them feel like that…
Yeah that’s the core you, and that’s the part that I know… cause I too am you…
Yes nothing compares to that great break that through, I am you and we are here, in this together!!…
Which makes us PROUD of our accomplishments like…
The us that graduated when they said we couldn’t make it with a kid….
The us that saw the happiest moment of our parents life when you walked across the college stage and scream
“Momma, Daddy we did it”…
And when we got that great job that was out of state but our parents said,
“that’s okay that just gives a place to vacation at”…
Or when we bought our first home and our child had a place to play and grow…
Be proud in your accomplishments, and know that there is more to yourself then just the bad things, and what some one sees, and may say bad things about us or gossip and tell others who or what you are… Do they really know us, I think not…
Only you and I know what we are, and the good and bad that exist in all living creatures that God created…
No other being would have gave us such a great gift to be able to choose who we are….
And we are champions…The real you…
